Shoots and Ladders

Ever had a day that feels like a roller coaster? Highs and lows? When you hit rock bottom, there's only one place to go right? Up? Or can you stay in the eternal hole of your lowest point? How long will it take to crawl your way out of this one.... Can you start over new?
Love is like a million fireflies trying to get your attention, flying in your face, yet you swat them away. Once you take a step back and look and the small lights, you notice you are smiling, what happens when those million little lights are so bright that they blind you? You can't see past the lights, you don't notice you are about to fall.
Thoughts flow from my hands as I write this. Many people helped with this blogs creation. Why is it when I'm so low that I have to look up just to see the ground, that some of my best writings happen? Why can't I write when happy, not sad? Yet wave after wave, the sadness swallows me whole without a second thought. Some day, when I can look back and laugh at this, maybe, just maybe, I can write a happy thought on this wall of scrambled words.
Depression cannot be explained. It happens gradually then suddenly. Before you know it, you're begging him not to you, to let you in to his life so you can wipe away the tears and be happy, if even just for a second. This is when you know you are a game piece in the game of love, once you are in it, there is no turning back. Maybe one day you will win a prize along the way the game board. Just think of it like shoots and ladders, sometimes you win others you lose.... Right now I'm losing.